


In the woods

by bivalkyrie



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arthur Finds Out, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic, Arthur pays attention to Merlin's feelings, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s05e05 The Disir, First Kiss, Fix-It, Getting Together, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Magic Revealed, Missing Scene, Nice Arthur, Observant Arthur, Season/Series 05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 18:29:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14290821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bivalkyrie/pseuds/bivalkyrie
Summary: “What?” exclaims Arthur, weak with disbelief, because Merlin really just said that there could be no place for magic in Camelot—no matter that this would sentence one of their knights to death.





	In the woods

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [In the woods](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6417043) by [MaryBarrens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryBarrens/pseuds/MaryBarrens). 



> S5e5 The Disir fix-it scene. In which Arthur responds differently to Merlin's declaration that "there can be no place for magic in Camelot."

Arthur sits on the ground in the middle of the woods, not far from the cave where the Disir waits for his decision—the decision to save Mordred and allow magic back into Camelot, or to sacrifice the young knight to protect his father’s laws. Arthur stares at Merlin, his hands crossed between his knees.

“What?” exclaims Arthur, weak with disbelief, because Merlin really just said that there could be no place for magic in Camelot—no matter that this would sentence one of their knights to death. 

No matter that this would sentence the young knight—almost a boy—who now lay dying because he saved Arthur’s life.

Merlin blinks violently, his lips pursed tightly, and turns away, but not before Arthur sees that his eyes are damp.

Arthur frowns and hesitates for a moment. What should he do? Should he get Merlin to talk to him, to understand more of what he said? Should he tell Merlin something to calm him down, comfort him? Because Merlin (trembling, shoulders hunched, head bowed) seems to need comfort. Arthur knows how silly these thoughts are, because he’s the king and Merlin is just a servant—

But Merlin isn’t just a servant. He was never just a servant.

Arthur slowly rises, walks over, and drops to his knees in front of Merlin, with his back to the fire.

Merlin does not even move, just lowers his head more, the shadow of Arthur’s shoulders concealing his expression.

Arthur swallows and moves closer, still on his knees, looking up at Merlin as Camelot looks up to him. 

Kneeling on the ground in front of Merlin, in the grass in the middle of the forest, with the dew slowly sinking through the knees of his trousers, Arthur suddenly wants nothing more than to see Merlin’s expression, to look at his face. So Arthur cradles Merlin’s cheeks in his hands, gently encouraging Merlin to raise his head and look at him, which Merlin obediently does, though his eyes remain firmly closed.

Arthur’s breath catches in his throat.

Merlin weeps, his face wet, tears clinging to his lashes. Why shouldn’t Merlin weep as he proposes to forget the promise that Arthur gives all his knights—to stand by their side and protect them as best he can? Why shouldn’t Merlin have tears in his eyes as he suggests that everything remain like before Arthur’s reign, when people were punished for doing no harm but simply because they had a power that not everyone had?

Arthur looks at Merlin again, only now noticing the pallor of his face. Seeing Merlin’s face white and wet with tears, Arthur does the only thing he can. Taking a deep breath, Arthur reaches for Merlin, pulling Merlin’s head to his chest. One of Arthur’s hands rests high on Merlin’s back, his fingers splayed. The other hand intertwines itself in Merlin’s hair. 

Merlin produces a faint, muffled sound, and presses against him, despite the cold, hard armor that Arthur is wearing. Merlin’s fingers squeeze tightly into the hem of his chainmail shirt.

This is not the Merlin that Arthur knows. The Merlin that Arthur knows would never have told him to continue the executions that hurt people. When Arthur thinks about it, Merlin has never before even implied that he agreed with Camelot’s persecution of magic-users. Merlin always would look away during a trial and would never comment on the sentence—even when they were alone later in Arthur’s quarters. Every time an execution occurred, Merlin would find a reason (collecting herbs usually, particularly rare ones which took a long time to find) so that he would be as far away from Camelot as possible. The Merlin that Arthur knows has never said anything against magic, never judged anyone for something innate and beyond their control.

Merlin does not have a problem with magic. He cannot have a problem with magic. So why does Merlin maintain that there can be no place for magic in Camelot?

Arthur remembers how Merlin kept track of Mordred every time they were together. Arthur remembers how Merlin screamed at him, back in the midst of all the snow and ice of Ismere, why did he not kill Mordred when he could? Arthur remembers years ago, how he waited in the middle of the night in a dark corridor, keeping a watchful eye for guards, with a young boy who was guilty only of being a druid, how Merlin came so late that they almost did not escape, and when Merlin finally appeared, he had a flimsy excuse and avoided meeting his eyes.

“Merlin,” Arthur exhales tremulously, shaking his head. He grips Merlin tighter. Why would Merlin would want to kill Mordred?

Merlin shakes in his embrace, his sobs muffled against Arthur’s chest, though Merlin does not try to hide his tears. 

Arthur presses his cheek against Merlin’s head. “It’s not about magic at all, is it?” Arthur whispers, his lips almost touching Merlin’s ear. 

He pauses and waits for Merlin to say something, but Merlin is silent and presses against him, shaking in his arms. Arthur’s heart breaks. 

“Why do you hate Mordred?” he asks, so softly that he hardly hears himself. “Why do you hate him so terribly?” 

This Merlin, who hates Mordred enough to kill him, is so unlike the Merlin that Arthur knows—the Merlin who weeps for unicorns, who feeds every cat that wanders near the castle, who accidentally pushes Arthur when he points to a cute hare during a hunt.

Merlin swallows and Arthur is sure he will not say a word until Merlin finally speaks, his voice faint. “Because one day you will be the greatest king that this land has ever known,” he says softly. “And they told me that—” 

Merlin pauses, his breath rapid and shallow, tickling Arthur’s neck. 

Arthur does not shudder. 

“They told me that—” Merlin tries again, but he does not finish. He shakes his head. 

“What?” asks Arthur softly. Arthur cards his fingers through Merlin’s hair, hoping the gentle movement will calm Merlin. “What did they tell you?” 

Merlin shakes his head. “You will hate me,” he murmurs with certainty, his voice breaking.

Arthur snorts, half amused and half bitter, because is Merlin serious? How could Merlin think something like that? Arthur releases Merlin slightly so that he can look into Merlin’s eyes, and grasps him by the shoulders, his hands unreasonably large around Merlin’s thin body. “I cannot imagine anything you could do to make me hate you,” Arthur declares softly. 

Merlin opens his mouth and stares at Arthur for a few seconds. A painful sob escapes his throat. Arthur wants to hug him again, to pull him back to his chest. Merlin may not want to tell him what’s going on, or may not trust him enough to tell him the truth. But that does not mean that it does not matter to Arthur, or that Arthur does not want to comfort Merlin when he obviously needs it. 

But before Arthur can do anything, Merlin takes a deep, trembling breath. “They told me that if I did not protect you, then Mordred—” 

Merlin bites his lip, as if he cannot say even one more word, and stares at Arthur, his face wet. Silently, he reaches out to Arthur, his fingers trembling, until the tip of his index finger brushes Arthur’s hand, and after a brief moment of hesitation, Merlin slowly intertwines Arthur’s fingers with his own.

Arthur nods and squeezes Merlin’s hand. Though Merlin could not finish the sentence, by his expression Arthur knows. They told Merlin that Mordred would kill Arthur. 

Arthur does not know who told him this, just that Merlin was told that Mordred would kill Arthur. That’s why Merlin was so afraid of Mordred, following him with a distrustful gaze from the moment he came to Camelot. That’s why Merlin was so late to open the gate. That’s why Merlin wants Mordred to die—even if that requires the continued persecution of magic-users. 

Merlin wants to save Arthur’s life so desperately that he is willing to turn his back on his own people and continue hiding his magic. 

Because Merlin has magic—he must have magic—otherwise he could never protect himself.

Merlin has magic and tries to convince Arthur to kill Mordred, and he has tears in his eyes. Merlin’s hand in Arthur’s is tiny and cold. Merlin lied to him for years, and did not trust him—even feared him. Now Merlin cries and trembles, and the only thing Arthur knows is that he did not lie when he told Merlin that he could not imagine anything Merlin could do to make Arthur hate him.

“Merlin,” Arthur mumbles softly, his free hand caressing Merlin’s face. With his thumb, Arthur wipes away Merlin’s tears, and then leans forwards and gently presses his lips to Merlin’s. 

“It's okay,” Arthur says softly, grasping Merlin’s hand more tightly. Because perhaps this is a brand new Merlin—a Merlin who has magic, who lied and hid for years. But this is also the same Merlin who is courageous, loyal, and beloved. And Arthur knows what he’ll do next day, what he can do. “Everything will be fine, I promise.” 

Merlin leans into Arthur’s embrace, hiding his face in the crook of Arthur’s neck, and feels free for the first time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to MaryBarrens for writing the original fic and letting me translate it! If you enjoyed this please also go leave kudos on the original [ here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6417043).
> 
> This is my first time translating a fic, so I am very open to suggestions/feedback about the translation. I have some experience translating other languages (primarily Latin) and aiming for the essence of meaning over specific word order, but I do not speak Czech and had to do the best I could with double-checking and reading in between the lines on google translate. Hopefully I did not misinterpret anything too seriously!


End file.
